Thursday, January 11, 2018

Anti-Social Media and the Art of Burning Bridges

I've had it. I mean, not just with, like, society and stuff (I definitely can't stand that whole "surrender your identity to your corporate overlords and consume yourself to oblivion" idea), but with certain key elements of it that are really gnawing on my last bone here.

For example, I've had it with:

Recruiters

No, I'm not talking about the friendly local strip-mall marine stuck behind a desk who calls you six times a week during your final semester of high school. I mean, they suck and all, but at least they're out there harassing teenagers.

Not being a teenager anymore, I can definitely get on board with that.

I'm talking about the boneheads near and far who call me at 7pm on Friday evening to ask me "do you have time to talk?" about some blah boring ad agency/corporate middle management role and how low I might I willing to go to get the position that will inevitably kill what's remaining of my inner child, destroy my marriage, etc.

No, I don't want to give you my salary requirement. No, I don't have a passion for office politics. No, I hate brand development and I want you and them to fuck off. Tell me, how long have you been calling people at random about their interest in a position for a company you've never visited, let alone never heard of...

THOSE recruiters. More often than not, they're located 3+ time zones away and are working on commission. They CARE...about keeping their jobs, I guess.


The News

Yeah. I don't know about you, but I can't turn the Goddamn phone off. I'm constantly flipping through my news app (like every 20 fucking minutes) seeking out the next salacious detail or conjecture coming out of Washington in hopes of learning more about how the whole screwfuck will ultimately go down (i.e.Will America survive the Cosmic Swirlee? Will we be buried in shit so long that we wake up smelling like collective death? News at 10).

I mean, it's MY fault, right?

I can't stop reading the news. It's all negative, but I can't stop. And there's no end of news with which to feed my longing for hypertension and paranoia. It actually IS eroding that inner child I mentioned earlier.

But instead of blaming myself, I'll just blame the news. I've had it with the news.

Give me more news, please.


I'd like to end it there, but since all good things and blog posts come in 3s...


Social Media Tool-Bags

Yeah, I said it. I know. I know. I'm a giant fucking hypocrite. But my quest to ultimately destroy the communications facade known as social media, as well as the next-level arrogance and self-righteousness it has spawned, is ongoing.

(tis' a nobler cause there never was, my lord)

I hate it hate it hate it. I don't know if I have anyone in my life I can qualify as a mortal enemy, but if I do, chances are they're all about expressing themselves on social media. I have friends (people I really do respect) who live on social media, as though sharing an update on their latest vacation or posting a politically charged meme was their only source of nourishment (spiritual or otherwise).

And yes, I've shared crap on it. I used to mock it. Now, I too occasionally feel the need to show people I believe in and care about stuff, for no other reason than to rub it in people's faces (I guess).

So, I am a social media tool-bag who detests other social media tool bags. I hate the social media echo chamber bullshit, where even the most interesting person gets sucked in, chewed up and flushed away, but I am often a most-willing, pig-sucking victim of garbage nonsense (I'm looking at YOU, David "Avocado" Wolfe).

Apparently, my desire for self-destruction burns across digital lines.

(I guess).

til next time, my lord,

JK