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Showing posts from May, 2017

14 Steps For Totally Nailing The Trump Handshake

Rounding out this Memorial Day Weekend's Blogfest Spectacular are a few thoughts, an entire post even, on the infamous Trump Handshake. Oh god. Indeed, the obsession with something so benign and superficial is vomit-worthy. But try as I might, it was unavoidable. I felt it necessary to select a topic and stick with it. So Trump Handshake it is. But why? Aren't there more important things a-brewing in the Geo-Politic? I mean, Jesus. Must we forever be inundated with such trivial, knee-jerk nonsense from every corner of the Flat-Earth? Yes. Yes we must. Because, you see my children, every good narrative from the dawn of time begins with and revolves around body language. From Joseph of Arimathea to Alexander Great to Richard Nixon to George Pompeii to Hitler to Charlie Sheen, no good yarn can possibly be spun around a center with no actor; someone who understands the art of gesticulation enough to control the illusion in his, or her, favor. What? You must understand t

So, Like a Dipshit...(How to Cure Boredom)

So there I was, staring blankly into the bottom of a beer bottle. not really pondering anything. Life wasn't great. It could have been better. But I didn't have anything demanding my immediate attention. No action was needed on anything. Freedom, however miserable, still seemed like freedom. I didn't have to ponder anything, so, I didn't. Everything was pretty open-ended. But as things often do, the situation changed. I was no longer engulfed in the serene emptiness of a Zen-like state. I began to THINK. It filled up the emptiness, til the emptiness was no more. So, like a dipshit, I got up, attempting to occupy myself with something in the tangible, visceral universe. Perhaps that would stir the thought out of my head. And the thoughts were very random, too, very chaotic and disjointed. There was no beginning or end, just whole lots of middle. Trying to organize them in chronological order, or in any reasonable way at all, was futile. So, like a dipshit, I d

What About The Children?

As it turns out, you really need a focused topic before you start writing a blog. Otherwise, your blog goes to shit fast, as in digestive priority numero uno. You ramble, you write in broken sentences and draw connections that really go nowhere. You just keep drawing. The whole stream-of-consciousness thing doesn't really work in this format. There are thousands, probably millions, probably quadjatrillyabillions of blogs out there. And there is certainly no end to the number of platforms that give those people voices. Yes, you are right. Not everyone is a writer. I'm certainly NOT a writer, though I sometimes pretend that I'm dreaming about playing an aspiring word jockey on the picture shows. So, there you have it. This is my epiphany for the day. Pick a topic BEFORE you start writing your Goddam (or is it Goddamn?) blog. If I had known or grasped that simple concept a few short 10-15 years ago, I may be putting off writing a blog somewhere else. AS I SPEAK. I coul