Sunday, July 8, 2018

How to Make Pretzels in 3 Simple Steps

A hot summer day and time to decipher my thoughts.

Or try.

Or write some flash fiction!

It was a mild summer night. Not the type you would expect in the midst of a soul-melting heatwave during mid-July. 

Nope. It was milder than that...



Ok, enough of that. I had a notion and it's gone. It wasn't much of a notion. An inkling, perhaps.

The new style of writing is to eliminate bulky text and keep the writer engaged with snappy one-liners.

Is it working?

Not even Russian bots are crawling this blog page anymore, which has me a little concerned.


But back to making pretzels (in 3 simple steps, no less!):

1) Consider the pretzel. It's funny shape, it's salty, satisfying aftertaste. Are you considering?


2) Good. Next, strike all mentions of "that" from your text. Also, forget who you are for a sec.


3) Are you forgotten? Excellent! Now, onto something else. Making pretzels is an involved process, and with such an amazing variety of pretzel choices available at your local market, it's also incredibly pointless. 


For other helpful tips and general run-around, tune into this blog page periodically.

And if you happen to be a Russian troll, bot, or other, please take a second to LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID.

SERIOUSLY, LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? DRINK UP, COMRADE.

IT'S GONNA BE A BUMPY RIDE. THANKS A LOT, PAL-SKI.

With an almost immeasurable amount of regret (I use the metric system, so it is possible),

Johnny Normal

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