Tuesday, July 11, 2017

10 Ways to Get Rid of That Annoying Russian Problem

I have to admit...I was beginning to think it wouldn't be a problem.

A self-proclaimed news addict, I've spent countless hours over the past 5-6 months with my head buried in my phone, my laptop and the various 24-hour stations in search of the next Russia-related "scoop." Most of the time the items have been merely filler; countdowns, what-ifs and innuendo designed to satiate the consumer's blood-lust and keep them coming back for more at the beginning of next day's news cycle.

It worked. I was completely hooked--almost to the point of neglecting my nightly dental hygiene routine...

But then my interest began to fade. The combination of circle-jerking punditry, the constant flow of casual, dispassionate denial after denial and so-called "other news items" made it seem as though it didn't, and wouldn't, matter. Regardless of the preponderance of sleaze and the undeniable gut-feeling of Royal Shitbaggery going on, there seemed like no real opening was ever going to present itself.

In other words, no matter how guilty anyone actually is/was, the whole thing began to feel like a fucking hair-pulling, $&*%# dead-end; a gross and unprecedented miscarriage of presidential injustice that would ultimately signal the beginning of the end of the once-fair republic...you know, that one that perhaps had potential for doing SOMETHING noble, good or shining-beacony-like for the cause of humanity, maybe someday.

But this somehow seems different.  No longer are pundits and thought-piece pushers trying to connect the dots with shoestring theories and White House hearsay (well, they are, but the gap between smell and source is rapidly narrowing). Now, Hair-plugs Jr., of all people, took a giant Paul Bunyan-type swing at any notion of misunderstanding or innocence or ignorance or shred of plausible deniability left to provide cover for this whole masquerade.

Or so it seems.

Yeah, it definitely seems. And reeks. And blows. And shits all over the carpet. Again and again and again.

The Twit otherwise known as Donny Jr. essentially just confessed to taking action to collude (which I guess is just fine if the attempt didn't allow for any colluding...HA!), implicating both Son-in-Law and ex-campaign scum Manafort of the same in the process. And now he's lawyering up.

Not only that, but the initial source of the story came from a collective of White House advisers (in an apparent effort to get ahead of the story).

Don't worry though. Nothing to see here. Just another out-of-touch brat playing by a different rules...(what rules would those be, again?).

Late at night, deep deep deep in the forest, if you listen VERY CLOSELY, you can hear that last withering piece of Kellyanne Conway's integrity screaming for the sweet release of death, cutting its own throat and disappearing, without a trace, into the backwoods mist of long-forgotten dreams.


Next time--Nothing happens. The whole thing gets buried. We were all fooled into thinking it was something real this time. The rich assholes win, again.

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