Notes on Arguing with Children

I would like to say I'm above that sort of thing, and that I have the wherewithal and self-control to avoid debating with 7-year-olds on what constitutes a "real" dinner and what real movies are and why it's important to wear socks in the winter. 

Yes, I would love to say that I'm an adult totally capable of managing my frustration and letting the children win. And I guess, for the most part, I am? But something inside me (stubbornness, ego, insecurity, whatever) sometimes just gives a little nudge that pushes me into Whoops! Land, where I suddenly find myself debating the physics of snowmen and the taste of noodles or why a green lego actually does work in that situation. And it's 'all bets are off' from there and off to the races with pull-out-my-hair discussions on why keeping yourself warm in arctic temps is actually a good thing if you want to stay alive, buddy.

Which is ok. I won't lie. I'm certainly not that far removed from childhood (yes, you are) physically, emotionally, or otherwise. I would go so far as to say I'm just an overgrown 9-year-old still navigating this place and trying to find my way out. 

But, damn. There really is nothing quite as humiliating as not having a good rebuttal or answer after committing to a stance, an impulsive but still conscious choice to stake your ground in a tete-a-tete with a second grader who gives no ground and won't take a loss with a smile, if at all. It's not exactly a well-thought-out decision, but it certainly is a regrettable one, particularly after you find you've been debating why we shouldn't buy candy when leaving the grocery store for more than 5 minutes, and that you're losing the debate somehow, and that it's really really time to give up but you can't, perhaps because of foolish pride or perhaps because it's sport at this point and you really really need this win, dammit. 

No, there's no excuse for arguing with children. It rarely does anything but expose you as a fraud and a bad parent? or even as a complete idiot. You're supposed to say your peace and then say "peace," know what I mean? Make a point and let them double down, get tired and end up defeating themselves. Let them roll themselves into the logical trap and tire of trying to escape. 

Now, THAT'S how you win an argument with children.

You think you know everything until you get asked the answerable question and then POOF, you're totally decimated and destroyed and left to figure out where everything went wrong. Why, WHY did you NOT KNOW THAT? You're supposed to be a fount of information, a resource the next generation can turn to and rely on at ANYTIME when they need a bit of wisdom or a clever quip or something that points them toward the goal.

But you're human. And you're not that guy, after all. 

Til Tomorrow 

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