Notes on Getting the Junk Out

As of now, this exercise has been somewhat cathartic and not altogether unhelpful, providing a slow but consistent relief valve that has allowed me to vent some of the wackadoo ideas kicking around in my upper regions. I don't think I've yet experienced its full benefits or potential, but I imagine if I stick with this for a while, I may see something more positive or fruitful come to fruition. 

It occurs to me that sticking with this sort of helps clear out the junk, the detritus that has accumulated and continues to litter my psyche and brain and whatever else I may tap into from time to time. Though sometimes this seems more like a chore than anything else, it's not altogether sloggish, which if you knew me at all is definitely a positive sign and something that portends progress (potentially) in the future. 

In other words (whose words would they be?), this is turning out to not be nearly as difficult as I initially imagined it to be. Having largely given up on myself and writing a long time ago, unofficially severing ties between two things I was really beginning not to believe but to accept really didn't belong in the same room, this exercise and its continuation have at the very least nurtured an inkling of hope, one I firmly believed was stomped out for good. 

Time is an easy excuse, always there when you need to ignore or dodge or just plain get out of something you don't really want to do. I continue to use time to justify any number of neglectful or plain rotten behaviors. But for whatever reason, I haven't let that inclination take over or poke its ugly face into my dealings on this matter. I just find a moment to sit here each day and outline a few thoughts and get to a point where I feel like I've left an acceptable amount of text on the screen. And so far, so far, it has yet to be ignored or dismissed or casually forgotten like so so many other false starts and pet projects that crashed and burned and filled me with regret days, weeks, and years down the road. 

The only issue I see up to this point has been the lack of focus. This is something I promised myself and lack of readership several posts ago, and it has yet to materialize. When there has been a spark, it's been mostly politics related, and those screeds have largely been juvenile and so so hackish. But, nothing too in-depth or concerted or designed to address any sort of solid theme or topic. Writing? Maybe. But this is all about writing. And maybe that's all I should stick to for the time being. 

I had a miserable Monday (yesterday), but for some reason this one ended up ok, at least by American capitalist workday standards. There are still 8 full hours left in the actual day, but for some reason I turn into a worker-bee robot consumer when it comes to judging what a day is or how it impacts my life.

Sad. 

Alas, I believe I'm nearing the end of this post. I'm not sure how much junk I've cleared out, if any, but I'm sure as shit that none was actually able to sneak its way back in. I would say, overall, that this has been a moderately productive session. But then, I am a terrible judge of such things. 

I may dare to broach the topic of friends tomorrow. Or current events. I haven't really decided. And I'm sure it won't end up being what I'm hoping for right now. But that's ok. At the moment, I need to locate legos and take it easy.

Til Tommorow

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